NOH8 - A Unique Perpsective

First let me say I have NO issues with people getting marriage because they love one another no matter who makes up the relationship. As long as its healthy, loving, and non-abusive with that said let me continue.

There has been so much talk lately about the NO H8 proposition and I agree NO ONE should be denied the opportunity to get married if they love one another under ANY circumstances!

But this blog post is not a protestant rant it is more of an educational session if you will....

So sit back take out our notepads and pencils and TAKE NOTE!

For my heterosexual couples um.. yeah .. y'all need to be front and center as well and prepared to take some notes what I'm about to say applies to everyone!

This is not my photo it came from this Link

The points I'm about to go over are coming from a circumstantially wizened divorced 30-yr old woman so I'm talking from experience and has a seasoned accounting professional... 

Marriage is not a game and it is not only an emotional binding but a legal and financial bonding as well. There are many things that the fairy tales, happily ever after, and romance novels DON'T tell you. These things that every couple needs to consider before even setting a date! 

1. Before you even decide on your colors I would advise anyone to please seek a preliminary counseling session with a reputable marriage counselor or relationship expert. For the church folks don't jump on me y'all know they have specific pastors in churches now who counsel as well. But make sure you understand the total psychological and emotional journey that you are about to embark upon and get a good understanding that there WILL BE humps in the road and healthy ways to overcome those humps. Also this is a time you can really evaluate your relationship honestly and logically with an objective party instead of your "friends", "homies" or even "mama nem" someone who is professionally trained to give you sound advice on your relationship! 

This not my photo it came from Link

2. My God!! The Legal aspects of marriage can become extremely complex especially if you  are unfamiliar with your states marriage laws and if you plan on having or adopting children this complexity increases 1000 fold. Also if you have a business or some substantial wealth or in many cases if the other person does not and you do a pre-nup with a nice field trip to a family lawyer will put many of these things in perspective. In addition if you are on the death do us part bandwagon a casual conversation with a probate lawyer on wills, insurance, and living trusts wouldn't hurt either all these things are DIRECTLY affected by marriage. Also evaluate any insurance policies you have because once you are married your spouse TRUMPS everyone. Example, if you are on your death bed and it's between your spouse and your mamma, your SPOUSE makes the decision legally! 

3. Financial smh... boy of boy this is a doosy here!!! I would always recommend sitting down with a certified  financial planner (CFP) you can find them through a Google search or in the phone book if you still old school like that. But this is essential to know what you are getting into financially because you are not considered not just a couple but a legal  and financial entity so literally you share everything including big debt, credit, mortgages, bank notes.... etc.. I would advise anyone to please please please know what your getting into because on the off chance it doesn't works it takes on average 3-5 years to recover financially from a dissolution of marriage aka a Divorce (I'm in year 4 pray for me). 

I'm done with my lecture of sorts I hope this helps ALL couples in their decision to get married and I think these counseling measures should be but in place for EVERYONE! Because if I knew then what I know no I would have said I DON'T instead of I DO!!! 

Until the next time..... 

DreaM

Erotic Snapshots Volume 1 Presented by Anna J

Hey folks!!!! I know ... I know... it has been a minute trying to get better with keeping up on my posts and probably a ton will be coming off the presses all at once lol!! 

Well onto the reason my words are glowing on this screen before you today : 

Erotic Snapshots Volume 1 Presented by Anna J

ISBN: 2940012901101

Publish date: May 30, 2011

Publisher: The Writers Edge Publications

4 Tantalizing Jaw Dropping Stories for your wildest imaginations!!! OMG these writers weave very good tales of love, lust, and everything that makes your skin warm in between!! My *fans and sips ice water*.  Anyway onto the individual story reviews *fans*... 

"My Man For a Minute" by M.T. Pope :

This story begins as the classic "yeah I got your man and you don't know" story but near the middle things switch all the way up, if you read you will see how ;-). It ended kind of blah but in all I really enjoyed the story and how well the author turned the reader into what I like to call a fly on the wall. The flow of the story was consistent but again kind of fell off at the end....  [ 4 bookworms]

"Naked Masquerade" by Charm :

Wow!! This is a new kind of partying that I have never heard of before. She keeps you completely enthralled with the what will happen next aspect. The story takes a few nice twists and ends on a very pleasant note given the plot. Charm really has a great writing flow, doesn't use that much slang, and keeps the reader totally engaged in the story. [ 5 bookworms]

"Lustful Violation" by Author Jewelze :

This is another great tale at first Jewelze has you thinking this story is going to be about something completely different and then turns and you think where the hell is this plot going?? But. In the end she brings it all together beautifully man and then you realize this is some dirty shyxt these folks have done lmao!!! [4.5 bookworms]

"Supermarket Sweep" by Anna J :

By the title I thought ok Anna where are you going with this but boy was I in for a surprise! The beginning dragged and I'm sad it only showed one example of how this "game" actually works lol... I really enjoyed this story as well. Anna J is one of the masters of weaving a tale that traps the reader until the very last punctuation mark. This wasn't one of my favorites from her but it still was a really good piece... [ 4.5 bookworms]

Erotic Snapshots Volume 1  [4.5 Bookworms]

In a very good read that seems, as always to go by way to fast lol!!! Until the next page turned... 

Drea

Disclaimer: This book was purchased by me from www.bn.com as a NookforPC / NookforAndroid book. 

My Preliminary B-day gift to Myself lol

I designed this at Converse.com

My 30th present to myself lol!

Being Prejudged....Not A Good Look

Hey peeps!! I'm back again...

So just to jump into this thing, I've started a new job at another non-profit *rolls eyes extra hard* that has had a ton of turnover in the Accounts Payable position (the one I'm working in). People quitting or just not a fit for the organization....etc.

So I start the 2nd week of July and I am doing well and out of the blue I get a call about [timeline and "chatting" with folks], really now seriously! I understand the timeline but you have to take into consideration I'm new to how these folks do things and am STILL learning all the timelines and due dates for things.

Now a sister is feeling some very weird vibes off these folks like they already pre-judged me to be like everyone else. This is unfair I'm not the other people who have had this position before! This is why pre-judging is a pet peeve of mine don't judge me let me work for myself and you judge the work!!! Also another one of these out of place emails shows up about "chatting" and I'm over here trying to figure out who the HELL I was talking to....myself?!?!?!?!?!? I'm not socialable at all on this job, yeah I'm polite and friendly but I'm there to get my check!! Not make friends!

Today..well not just today the last few days I've let this get to me and now I have a tension migraine to show for it.....*rolls eyes* Ouch! I want to say something soooooo bad but I digress, just going to keep my mouth shut and work. I'm going to even cut the "friendly" and "polite" to a minimum so their won't be ANY misunderstandings about what I say if NOTHING is said. I just want my check it's bad when you have to do it like this and I don't want any calls about me having a "cold" or "distant" demeanor as long as their work is done!

I apologize for one of the ranting posts but a sister just had to get this off her chest really quick.

*Pops Excedrin Migraine*

Till Next Time,

Drea

I'm Thinking About Gelish!!!

Hey people!!! I know. I know. It has been awhile I'm sorry forgive and nothing but love, lol. Anyway back in March I started getting gel nails and I fell in love!!!
(The color I have on in the pic is #01361 Ivory Coast)

Don't ask me what color this is but I love it!! lol So I went online to see if this was something a person could do at home and found that with the right equipment and a little detective work with finding the best price on the polishes that is is possible. Right now my piggy bank is squealing because it's belly is empty so this will be a project in the upcoming months lol. I promise and make sure you all remind me to add this lol.



The Brand

The company is called Nail Harmony and to the left is a sample of how the bottle looks.  Currently there are 72 colors of gelish polish and the manufacturer also sells the cleanser and the soak off liquid. As well the foundation and top coats. One important thing about this stuff DON'T SHAKE IT!!!  It is a gel not a traditional polish and shaking will cause bubbles and that will make the polish cure all kinds of funky, not a good look. Also make sure to cure under the UV Lamp at least two minutes between each step!

Nail Harmony Gelish Products
72 Colors Available

Also it is pretty easy to find a basic 36watt UV Lamp this is the basic wattage needed to cure this type of product  these can easily be found on Amazon or Ebay starting from about $30.00 and up to about $150.00 for the fancier lamps.

Summer & Relationships

People have come up with all these complicated ideas about what they "require " or some outlandish immortal list of perfection (last time I checked Jesus didn't date #justsaying).

Well I know the judgments coming for what I'm about to say but oh well. All I NEED is a HEALTHY relationship (novel idea isn't it). Just simplicity and the basics honesty, intelligence, ethics, respect, communication and a few others just common sense things like fidelity, companionship, friendship.

I say this because life is complicated enough my relationships need to be simple and not full of chaos.

Well let me get off my soapbox and back to work *deuces *

DreaM

Working With "Us"

I'm not trying to be mean sound like a bigot or be uppity, but working with majority black people can royally suck sometimes. It seems if all standard professional decorum just goes out the window. Then it is replaced with a hybrid of hood mentality, barn yard antics, and bad imitation or shall I say lacking attempt at office etiquette.

I know working with other races is not easy either. But, I have noticed that a culturally mixed office environment always seems more peaceful, but this is just my opinion.

*gets back to pencil pushing*

Blogger for Android

Yeah buddy I'm back. Lol More posts coming soon.

Day 9- Someone you wish you could meet

Dear MJ ,

I so wish we could have meet before you left this world... I would have told you that you are loved and adored even through all the hell and non- appreciation we gave you while you were alive was so undeserved. We miss u. RIP MJ

DreaM (your biggest fan in my mind)

Day 8 – Letter to My Favorite Internet Friend(s)

Yes this title is multiple because it's more than one of you!!!

 

Dear @CJayConrod
@Nvncyble
@SheHateMe
@YoBoiPat
@AlejandroDaGr8
@ImWa2
@BTiz82
@fullupcious

Hey Twitter Friends!!!! This letter is dedicated to you all. So many days you have so brightened a dark day with a tweet, an email, a Skype call, a blog talk, or a post and I thank you!!! I wish we could talk in real life and some of you I see often and others I can't wait to meet!!! I love you all and who says you can't find great friends in cyberspace!! All of you are so intelligent, so much fun, and great folks just to have a good conversation, debate, tv/movies reviews, endless music, and some of the best reads (blog posts) I have ever come across! Many of you I look for your YouTube vids and always enjoy every single one!!

To my real life cuz and my bestie you two always manage to make me laugh sometime during the day it never fails!!! CJay, Shehateme, and Alejandro you know I love y'all and our great conversations, jokes, and so much music! Mo I never knew I would find such a wonderful real life friend just playing around on twitter and that is exactly what you have become I can't wait to see how are our friendship evolves I know it's going to be a great journey! Pat and Wa2 I can't wait to meet you guys in person you two are a mess and I love you!!

 

Sincerely

DreaM aka @amcnair00

Day 7 – Letter to My Ex….

I've been away for a few days… but I had to take time to think about this letter… and whether I would go the negative route or the positive route… I choose the positive….

 

Dear 1^st Love,

This is for you! I know it's been awhile since we have spoken or even seen each other and that part of my heart that will always be young still misses you…. I miss our night time conversations under the million stars on a clear summer night ….. Our lazy days laying on the couch walking tv or me watching you play video games, lol. Oh how I long for the days when a relationship was so pure… I guess that just goes away as we get older….. I miss our quality time together and all the things we shared… There is no way to tell you in words how much I appreciate you and your family standing behind me while my mother was sick and when she passed you never know how much your love and support got me through. I am still amazed that such a young age you were able to be so mature and caring about all that was going on and so willing to help. My parents adored you (this still shocks me) and always bragged to their friends at how I found such a nice young man to be my boyfriend lol, even though my dad had my brother scare you he really did like you, lol! I miss you honey and I'm still ride or die for you like I always have been all you ever have to do is call and I'm there!!!

 

˜ I Love You!!! –

Drea…

Day 6 – Letter to a Stranger

Dear Stranger….

Well that doesn't seem the right sentiment being that you are my child… I only got to experience you for three months in my womb and oh how I miss you.. The Bible says everything has a reason and I guess you leaving me has one as well but many days I can't see it. I sit and wonder would you have my eyes, would you be chocolate or caramel colored, were you a boy or a girl, what it would feel like to touch your curly hair or hear you coo cooing. I sooo miss you even though we never met, I pray that God will see fit to send you back to me because I love you more than I could ever say or put into words. I long for the day that I can see you and wrap you in an unyielding mother's love. With everything in me if you come back I will do everything in my power to Love you, Protect You and make sure all that you need is there… Hopefully you won't be a stranger one day because 7 yrs without you is too long, I love you my child!!!

 

With undying love,

 

Your Mother……..

Day 5 – Letter to My Dreams

Hi Dream(s)!!!

Yeah I see you off over there on the horizon and this no so smooth crooked road in front of me. Hey a challenge is good thing right, it makes you better… as the sun sets on yet another day on this journey to you I see the colors of purple, gold, and orange descending and the lights coming on in my own Accounting Firm, My Plaza that I own and will build with cash, My home that I purchase without a mortgage, and that new car that leaves the lot without one penny owed on it. Yep I see you and you are within my grasp. All these emotional, physical and financial barriers won't deter me from becoming the Best and Most Sought After African-American Female Business Mogul in the world. All these hard lessons and trials will all be worth it when I get that dream on the horizon and trust when the sun rises again in the morning this journey to you starts anew. So sit there because I'm coming and I'm claiming it all now it is already so and written into the threads of my life. No man can stop me from getting to you but myself and I don't see that happening soon. I know you hear the nay-sayers and all that manufactured hate spewing from the slave factory behind me but it's all good I'm rolling and they won't catch me… So in ending just be waiting when I get there because my entrance into that place, where you my dream lies and is made of, will be all the way live when I step in the place.



Deuces until the sun rises,



DreaM

Day 4 – Letter to My Sibling (or closest relative)

Hey cuzzo!!!!

Yes Ms. @fullupcious you silly butt this letter is dedicated to you ma'am!!! I love you soooo much you are more than my cuz I consider you my sister. Your presence and importance in my life means more to me than I can ever put into words. We may not always agree or see eye to eye on things but it is because of you that I haven't lost all faith in the word family. Your prayers, your advice, and even your good natured kicks to the rear are appreciated. You mean so much to me and I love the time we share…. So cuz this letter is for you I LOVE YA CUZZO!!!! *BIG HUGS* (even though I know you hate the mushy stuff) lol . Now all the mushy stuff is done let's get ready for more laughter, great conversations, more mess, with a ton of your crazy jokes and stories!!!!!!!



Luv your crazy cuzin,

DreaM aka Renee

LOL

This picture is from 

Sisterhood Art PrintLatham, Sarah 
Buy at AllPosters.com  <<< You can purchase this print here! 

Day 3 – Letter to My Parents

Hey Mommy…. Hey Daddy….



There is so much to tell you… it's been over 10 years since we spoken and everyday it seems I miss more than the last…. Since you left to be with God things here on Earth have been very hard for your baby girl… but you raised a very independent and strong little girl and I Thank You for all that you gave me….. As I write this my tears are steadily flowing because it still seems like yesterday when you left, and I'm certain you took sizable chunks of my heart when you went away. As a child I wondered what did I do so wrong to make you leave me so soon, but as an adult I realize you had to go and aren't suffering or having to deal with the pains of this world….. I just want to say again (I don't think I could say it enough) but thank you for loving me, for teaching me, encouraging me to be happy and to love myself as well as those around me. You two were my best examples even though you weren't married you were the best of friends and I loved that because you taught me how to be a good friend, you exposed me to the world of culinary arts and I loved watching you two work especially together it was like a well oiled machine just …flawless I thought you guys were Chef Superheroes. You also were so smart Mommy you were always there to help me with my math and science and I know given the chance you would have been the greatest Mathematician anywhere, plus we shared so much laughter together, and I thought you were the best dancer ever! Daddy you were always so articulate and full of history, I so miss your stories and making me laugh, plus your voice when you sang made everything alright… Well I don't know if my tears will let anything else be written just know I love you and one day I'm going to see you again and feel your arms around me……



I LOVE YOU MOMMY AND DADDY!!!!



Love,

Your Baby Girl AKA Bright Eyes

Day 2 – Letter to My Crush

Hey You! Yeah you over there with your sexy self I'm talking to you……

Right now you have no idea I exist or that I feel this way but let me tell ya really quick. If you asked it becomes so, if you need then it will be met, if you wanted time to stop all you had to do was ask….

Yep that's how I felt then, how I feel now and probably always will…..

I wish you knew that many days I feel like the sun rises and sets when you open or close your eyes, when I get to hear your voice or talk to you it makes whatever I'm going through just disappear if even only for a moment…

Don't get it twisted I'm not on that next lifetime shoulda, coulda, woulda, maybe when or maybe if mental trip…. I know that chance has been missed and long gone for me to show how much I love you and can make you happy…. and most times you are just the soul mate I dream about….

Many days thoughts of you have my daydreams all tied up… conversations, shared experiences, far away trips, marriage, kids, and oh so so sweet love making but again reality hits and I realize all these wishes are out of my grasp….

So to you I say if you ever think that no one loves you…. I wish you could read my heart because I do today, then, and always….

XOXO



DreaM

Day 1 - Letter to My Bestfriend(s)

Hey Family (that's what we call each other),

Where do I start.... This is my first letter and I'm glad it's to you guys....

I love you all so much I really really do! So many times I've felt alone in this world and you all always remind of the biggest blessing God could ever give me TRUE FRIENDS. We have been through good times and bad and always together and stronger because of it. Many times we give each other grief and tease but it's always in love and for the love of each other's laughter.... I thank God everyday for you guys because you really are my family even when my real blood turned their back you were there and I will always love you and do whatever I can for you because of it.... One of my favorite things about us is no matter geographically where we are as long as we are in each other's company we are HOME and being someone who is sometimes not sure where home is that can be such a reassuring fact..... There is so so much I could say but my mind is kinda blank now because I'm a little choked up writing this but know this fact till the day the Lord calls each of us home I am there for you. If you need me call, a shoulder I got two, a hug I have plenty, and my love for you guys is overflowing......

*GROUP HUG*

Love your crazy friend,

DreaM

30 Letters in 30 days.......

Okay one of my dear internet friends posted this challenge on his blog.... thanks @shehateme for this challenge and the encouragement to go through with it.... Warning there are some things that you are going to find out about me that you had no idea were there, or feelings that no one knew I had... and I may regret this but here it goes . The letters will come in the order listed below....  if you want to comment please do....

This is hard for me I'm always the strong one and being this open is scary.....honesty with yourself is so much easier when you don't have to let people peak into that same reflection you see, so I invite you to join me for this journey.... Let's go!!

Letters to:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

My Life List..... Things Wisdom Has Taught Me To Live By....

Hey folks I'm back again... lol

Well before I start this list let me say recently my life has been a little haywire lol. I won't say bad because I refuse to complain (even though I do sometimes working on that) because someone else has it worse than I... One of the side effects of life craziness is insomnia...well it is for me any way lol, when I'm up real late and it's all quiet this gives me the perfect opportunity to pray, meditate, and think some things through... When the Lord speaks you need to listen and many of the items on my "Life List" have been constantly on repeat within my conscious and subconscious, something told me this list won't just help me it may help someone else as well... Many times I repeat these same simple words/rules to myself even though on my worst days it's hard... Many of these things are qualities that I want or wanted the Lord to bless me with and many of them he has... Well, with all that said I say this please enjoy the list and by no means am I a life coach or spiritual guru neither can I tell anyone what to do but taking a gander wouldn't hurt nor would a little reflection.....

1. Perseverance
2.  A Tough Skin (don't sweat the small stuff, because it's only small stuff)
3. Keep your mental strong (mental weakness is the deadliest weakness)
4. Concentration, Focus (tunnel vision is a good thing)
5. A Positive Outlook ( you reap what you sow, law of attraction, all that applies here)
6. Building Prayerful Habits (prayer changes things!! seriously it really does!)
7. Philanthropic Practices (in helping others you ultimately help yourself)
8. A Strong "3rd Eye" (Also known as discernment, learn from observation) 
9. LOVE FOR SELF (yeah this is a biggie!! when u love yourself it is easy to love others and for others to love you!)
10. RESPECT FOR OTHERS (being respectful is the simplest act of kindness, and the best evidence of a person having some knowledge)
11. To admit when you are wrong! (no one is perfect, and we all make mistakes they are always easier to fix or be forgiven for when you sincerely admit your mistake)
12. To be able to apologize "I'm Sorry" (this simple phrase has prevented wars!! Done with a sincere heart can prevent years of heartache and anger)
13. Be able to put pride aside and ask for help when you need it...(this is one I'm still working on, it's hard when you are independent minded but sometimes you CAN'T do it all yourself)
14. Know your self-worth (if you know it others will also and will respect you, if you don't expect massive amounts of drama)
15. Treat others how you want to be treated ALWAYS! (Refer back to #10 and #5)
16. Do YOU! ALWAYS! (if it makes you happy do it! especially if you aren't breaking any laws, killing or hurting anybody, strap up your Nikes and JUST DO IT DO YOU!)
17. Get one really good laugh everyday and give someone a really good laugh everyday (trust this works even it's by accident no matter if you were just in tears you would be surprised at how a laugh helps!)
18. Pray for wisdom not wealth!! (Wisdom is a blessing that lasts longer than wealth and can help you attain it!)
19. Know when to be quiet ( you can say the most by just not saying anything at all...)
20. Know when to be still ( take a break stop and just let things go we can't fix/control everything, many things work out best when we just be still and let it roll)
21. Don't give energy to people and things that don't deserve it! (Yep I said it! I mean it! lol If they don't deserve it don't waste your life force on someone who just wants to zap your energy and not replace it)
22. FAMILY IS NOT ALWAYS THOSE WITH WHOM YOU SHARE A BLOODLINE ( I learned this at a very very early age the hard way... and so true You can't pick family but friends are the family you can pick! )

Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed my list, please comment and let me know if you agree or don't. Would you add anything or take anything away? I would love to know, till next time....

Much Love

DreaM

My Current Music High "Everything is Arie!"

Ok so lately I've been feeling a little down you can say many things going on most of which I WON'T discuss on here lol... anywho besides prayer music has always helped me relax and take my mind off things for a little bit and there are a couple of raggae artists I just discovered who do just that!!! One is Tarrus Riley and the other is Queen Ifrica both are Rastafarean and ALL of their songs are about peace, love and correcting wrongs that are going on in the world ( a break from the bling,guns, and whores in mainstream music) warning this is not dancehall!!! It is Bob Marley and the Whalers throwback kinda Raggae. A few videos are below listen and enjoy. Please comment and tell me what you think. Much Love!


DreaM