There has been so much talk lately about the NO H8 proposition and I agree NO ONE should be denied the opportunity to get married if they love one another under ANY circumstances!
But this blog post is not a protestant rant it is more of an educational session if you will....
So sit back take out our notepads and pencils and TAKE NOTE!
For my heterosexual couples um.. yeah .. y'all need to be front and center as well and prepared to take some notes what I'm about to say applies to everyone!
This is not my photo it came from this Link
The points I'm about to go over are coming from a circumstantially wizened divorced 30-yr old woman so I'm talking from experience and has a seasoned accounting professional...
Marriage is not a game and it is not only an emotional binding but a legal and financial bonding as well. There are many things that the fairy tales, happily ever after, and romance novels DON'T tell you. These things that every couple needs to consider before even setting a date!
1. Before you even decide on your colors I would advise anyone to please seek a preliminary counseling session with a reputable marriage counselor or relationship expert. For the church folks don't jump on me y'all know they have specific pastors in churches now who counsel as well. But make sure you understand the total psychological and emotional journey that you are about to embark upon and get a good understanding that there WILL BE humps in the road and healthy ways to overcome those humps. Also this is a time you can really evaluate your relationship honestly and logically with an objective party instead of your "friends", "homies" or even "mama nem" someone who is professionally trained to give you sound advice on your relationship!
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| This not my photo it came from Link |
2. My God!! The Legal aspects of marriage can become extremely complex especially if you are unfamiliar with your states marriage laws and if you plan on having or adopting children this complexity increases 1000 fold. Also if you have a business or some substantial wealth or in many cases if the other person does not and you do a pre-nup with a nice field trip to a family lawyer will put many of these things in perspective. In addition if you are on the death do us part bandwagon a casual conversation with a probate lawyer on wills, insurance, and living trusts wouldn't hurt either all these things are DIRECTLY affected by marriage. Also evaluate any insurance policies you have because once you are married your spouse TRUMPS everyone. Example, if you are on your death bed and it's between your spouse and your mamma, your SPOUSE makes the decision legally!
3. Financial smh... boy of boy this is a doosy here!!! I would always recommend sitting down with a certified financial planner (CFP) you can find them through a Google search or in the phone book if you still old school like that. But this is essential to know what you are getting into financially because you are not considered not just a couple but a legal and financial entity so literally you share everything including big debt, credit, mortgages, bank notes.... etc.. I would advise anyone to please please please know what your getting into because on the off chance it doesn't works it takes on average 3-5 years to recover financially from a dissolution of marriage aka a Divorce (I'm in year 4 pray for me).
I'm done with my lecture of sorts I hope this helps ALL couples in their decision to get married and I think these counseling measures should be but in place for EVERYONE! Because if I knew then what I know no I would have said I DON'T instead of I DO!!!
Until the next time.....
DreaM
